


Kids: Sibling Advice

by The_Cerulean_Author



Series: Promstuck [9]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Advice, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Quadruple Drabble, Relationship Advice, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-12 10:53:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7099918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Cerulean_Author/pseuds/The_Cerulean_Author
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Siblings are great. Able to give advice on everything from crushes to Prom outfits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cupcakes and Clowns (Harlequins)

**Author's Note:**

> The titles of each chapter are items I associate with each one of the kids. The chapters are as follows:
> 
> 1) Cupcakes and Clowns (Harlequins)  
> 2) Felines and Fantasy Novels  
> 3) Katanas and Turntables   
> 4) Pistols and Canines

John Egbert was playing the piano that resided in the living room of the house he lived in with his dad, nana, poppop and sister, Jane Crocker. His dad and nana were currently baking up a frenzy in the kitchen, and his poppop was in his study, writing to an old friend of his (some colonel that John couldn't remember the name of).

Either way, John knew he had to practice the pieces of music he was going to play at the music recital in a few weeks time. To start with he was going to play his favourite piece, Showtime. Then he'd follow up with two new pieces: Do The Windy Thing (which he'd written himself) and Clockstopper, which reminded him of Dave, though he wasn't sure why.

He was about half way through Do The Windy Thing when his sister called him from upstairs.

"John? Could you come up here for a minute?"  
"Sure! I'll be up in a sec!" he called back.

John quickly closed the piano, swearing as he trapped his fingers, before running up the stairs two at a time until he got to Jane's room at the top of the house.

"So what did you- Whoa..." he stopped dead in the doorway, any other words dying on his lips.

The reason for his shock was the dress his sister was wearing: it looked almost exactly like Hermione Granger's Yule Ball dress from The Goblet of Fire (Google it if you've never seen it), the only way it was different is that instead of pink, it was made up of navy, cyan and royal blue material, the gradient of the skirt becoming lighter the closer to Jane's waist it was.

Jane heard her brother and turned to face him, her face dusted with a slight blush. 

"How do I look? Is this too much for a silly old prom?" she asked, looking down at herself.  
"What? No! Absolutely not! Jane, you look awesome. A total knockout." John said sincerely.  
"Really? I'm not overdoing it?" Jane looked up at him.  
"Hell no, and I swear, if you don't believe me I'll call nana up here AND I'll take a picture and send it to Roxy to get a second and third opinion." John deadpanned.  
"But Roxy and nana will just agree with you." Jane smiled slightly.  
"Precisely. Need I say more?" grinned John, folding his arms across his chest like it was case closed. (Which it was.)

Jane's smile widened as she realised John was telling her the truth: both about how she looked and the 'threat' of getting second and third opinions from their nana and Jane's girlfriend. Finally she put her hands up in mock surrender.

"Alright alright, I believe you." she laughed.  
"Good. Also, I'm wearing my royal blue suit with the windy-looking symbol on it, so now the colour of our outfits match." added John.  
"Good choice, that suit suits you." smirked Jane.  
"...Was that a pun?" John asked suspiciously.  
"Absolutely not. Hoo hoo!" winked Jane.

John just rolled his eyes and turned to leave.  
"John wait!" he turned back to his sister.  
"What now?"  
"In return for helping me decide on my dress, if you want, I'll come and listen to you practice once I'm changed." offered Jane.  
"Thanks, I like playing for you anyway." smiled John.  
"Just practice for too long, alright?" smiled Jane as she saw John try to suppress a yawn.  
"Yeah yeah..." muttered John, taking his glasses off and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Um...John?" began Jane, trying to suppress a fit of giggles.  
"What...?" John asked uneasily.  
"Look down." Jane gestured at his hand.

John looked down at his hand and saw black ink smudged over his thumb and index finger. Odd, that hadn't been there a second ago, not before- OH SHIT!

He ran over to the mirror in Jane's room and even in the blurry reflection he saw two smudges of black ink, one either side of his nose. He looked down at his glasses, which were still in his hand. There was black ink on the nose pads.

"...NANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" he yelled, sprinting out of the room and down the stairs, leaving a giggling Jane in his wake.


	2. Felines and Fantasy Novels

It was raining heavily outside. It was coming down in buckets, as some humans would say. Seeing as that terminology would make trolls very uncomfortable though, THEY would say it was raining barkebeasts and miaowbeasts.

Put it this way, it was raining. A lot.

Rose Lalonde was leaning against the doorframe of her porch, watching the rain come down. She found the sound of the rain soothing and the smell...hm...it reminded her of-

"Rosie? What ya doing?" asked Roxy, Rose's sister.  
Without looking at the other, Rose replied "Watching the rain, taking a break from writing."  
"Oh? So not daydreaming over that guy you're head over heels for?" teased Roxy.  
"Of course not. What are you talking about-" Rose finally looked turned to look at Roxy and froze when she saw her.

Roxy was wearing a ballgown that heavily resembled the one that Lily James wore in the 2015 Live Action version of Cinderella (Google it). But instead of blue, it was a dark pink that matched the colour of Roxy's eyes.

Rose smiled slightly "You look like a princess from a fairytale."  
"Aww thank you Rosie!" grinned Roxy, hugging her sister tightly.  
"Must you always call me that?" the purple eyed sister sighed in resignation.  
"Duh. You're my Rosie. My Rose Petal. My little Rosebud." Roxy said playfully, booping Rose on the nose.

Rose batted the pink eyed sister away, going back to her thoughtful silence. All that could be heard once more was the pitter patter of the rain outside.

"So, Rosie-" began Roxy after a moment.  
"...Do you think Eridan could ever like someone like me?" Rose asked suddenly.  
"Ah so that's the name of your mystery man?" asked Roxy gently, putting an an around Rose.  
Rose nodded shyly, blushing slightly.  
"Well," continued Roxy "I honestly think that Eridan would have be crazy, blind or stupid to not to see that someone amazing is waiting right in front of him."  
"Really...?" Rose looked doubtful.  
"Really. Trust me, little sis. Wonk." Roxy winked.

Rose tucked her head into the crook of Roxy's neck. She always did this when she was saying the one thing she never said with words, which was ironic considering one of her hobbies was writing literature. The one thing Rose never said to her sister with words? I love you.

Roxy knew this well and was happy to let her sister be quiet and cuddly. Several times in the past, Roxy had teased Rose about being very feline in behaviour when she was being affectionate. Rose secretly never minded.

"Don't worry about Ampora." Roxy said softly "If he feels the same way about you as you do about him, you'll find out eventually. Remember: good things come to those who wait."  
"Alright..." whispered Rose "But...if he asked...I'd be his." she confessed.  
"...Isn't that a quote from Les Mis?" mused Roxy.  
"Maybe. Am I not allowed to quote our favourite musical now?" Rose smiled slightly.  
"Oh no, it's makes you as bad as Jean Valjean." Roxy replied sarcastically "Even though all he did was steal was some bread." she added.

Rose laughed lightly (when it came to referencing Les Mis, Roxy was as bad as she was. Not that Rose would ever admit that). She removed Roxy's arm from her shoulder before, taking both of her sister's hands in her own.

"I meant what I said though, you do look beautiful." she smiled.  
"Thanks Rosie. Have you got your own dress sorted?"asked Roxy.  
"Indeed, I'm wearing my velvet squiddleknit dress." nodded Rose.

Roxy knew which dress Rose was talking about: The dress featured a gray shirt and a black-and-purple-striped bodice, a purple skirt, gold straps, and a gold rope belt with a Squiddle buckle. Rose had a gold hairband to go with it, and a pair of black heels.

"Then you'll look pretty as a princess too." smiled Roxy, then let go of Rose's hands "But I'm going to go and get changed before I spoil this dress."  
"You do that and I'll make us some hot chocolate, then we can watch the rain some more." decided Rose.  
"Hell yeah! Quality time with my little sis!" Roxy grinned before leaving.

Rose smiled to herself before heading to the kitchen, three minute black fluffy kittens by the names of Frigglish, Jaspers and Mutie frolicking at her heels.


	3. Katanas and Turntables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't connected to anything to do with prom.  
> It's just a sneak-peek into the life of the Striders.

Dirk Strider was absorbed in the beat of the music. Completely focused on the way the turntables felt under his hands. Utterly concentrated on the rise and fall of the melody and bass that were simultaneously reaching his ears (through MLP headphones).

"Hey asshat, for the millionth time, I brought you a drink."

Dirk looked up just in time to catch the can that his brother, Dave, threw at him. He caught it one-handed while pausing the track he was working on with the other.

"My knight in shining armour." Dirk said in way of thanks, a hint of sarcasm in his voice but a smile on his face.  
"Anything for the prince." Dave mocked.  
"Prince?" Dirk paused while removing his headphones.  
"Yeah, the dickprince." grinned Dave.  
"Dude is this about the smuppet ambush the other day? Look I said I'm sorry, plus it was Bro's idea anyway." Dirk explained.  
"Just because me and D kicked your asses in a strife last week..." muttered Dave.

To someone outside of the household, this almost constant battle for one-upmanship wouldn't exactly be a recipe for a good family relationship. But that's simply how the four brothers (Dirk, Dave, Bro and D) worked. Besides, it wasn't always strifes and payback, there was actually a lot more to the Strider story than many people knew.  
~

Strider had not always been the surname of the four boys. They had actually been born and raised as Lalondes. D had been born first, followed by Bro. Roxy and Dirk and Rose and Dave had been born as two sets of twins. 

However, none of their childhoods had been happy. Their mother loved them dearly but their father had never wanted to have children and so never gave a fuck. He'd always left the state for work for months at a time and every time he'd returned, finding out another child or two had come along chipped away at his tolerance.

Dave and Rose being born had been the final straw and something just snapped. Their father still stayed away from home for long periods of time but during the small amounts of time he was actually present, he treated the children- his /own/ children- with nothing but cruelty.

At first it was just little things: little comments about their vivid eye colors (dark red, gold, amber, pink, candy red and purple) and how that made them 'mutants' or freaks'. Or refusing to refer to them or address them by their names, only ever 'kid' (or 'brat' when he was angry).

Mom picked up on this pretty quickly and told their father time and time again not to call their children that. She always had to assure her sons and daughters that their eyes were beautiful like gemstones and to not listen to the mean things their father said.

In time, the parents began to argue more and more frequently, the father often hitting the mother, and any children who got involved.

By the time Dave and Rose were eight years old, their mother had a serious drinking problem and it was terrifying every time their father came home. Especially for D. No way was he going to let any of his brothers or sisters get hurt by their father's hand.

In fact, calling him a father was wrong. He was a sperm donor at most. Their mother was the real parent and the only parent they ever needed. And D would protect her too.

With the help of her oldest boys, Mom Lalonde was eventually able to get help with her alcohol addiction which meant she was able to be the amazing mother her children knew her to be once more and also focus back on her science research to provide for her family.

The road was long and sometimes it was difficult, but all of Mom Lalonde's children were what kept her fighting. The next time their good for nothing father showed up, she'd been completely sober for just over 6 months and was getting better all the time. 

She told her husband it was over. That he wasn't going to hurt her children anymore. She told him not to bother unpacking his suitcase and to get out.

He replied that he was glad to be shot of her and her six burdens (she'd smacked him across the face for that. How DARE he call her children that!!!) but he was taking back the house HE'D bought at the start of their marriage.

And so the long, complicated divorce process began. Bro and D would never forget the day they took Mom aside and offered to move out with Dirk and Dave to ease Mom's handful while the divorce was going on. Mom had been reluctant to have any of her babies fly the nest, but she agreed because she knew that Dirk and Dave would be in good hands with their big brothers.

The boys had moved out to an apartment in Maple Valley but the girls ended up moving to Maple Valley as well, Mom using her considerable funding to buy a mansion in the outskirts of the suburb. It was a 30 minute drive from the apartment to the mansion.

For legal reasons, the boys also ended up changing their surnames to Strider when Bro and D were given legal custody of Dirk and Dave.

And so that's how things continued right up until Dirk and Roxy were 17 and Dave and Rose were 16. All four were coming to the end of successful careers at Sburb Academy and preparing to move on to Skaia Tech for even brighter futures.

Mom could not have been prouder.  
~

An hour after Dave had first brought Dirk the drink, Bro silently observed them mixing music together on the turntables. He'd often do this and every time he would be reminded of the young children with big red/amber eyes that would watch with admiration as he and D taught them the basics of swordplay or music mixing. A small smile involuntarily crossed his lips as he remembered little Dirk and Dave.

A tap on his should jerked him from his reverie and he turned to see D. He was almost the opposite of Bro (slim and wearing rounded aviators and not spiking his hair with gel) and nearly the (taller) mirror image of Dave.

"Sup?" asked Bro, frowning at D's serious expression.  
"...Mom called." murmured D, his voice low and serious.  
"Momma? What's wrong? Is she alright? Are Rox and Rose ok too?" growled Bro, becoming worried.  
"They're all fine, don't worry." D's tone softened a little. His brother was such a sentimental dork at times. "But...he turned up on Mom's doorstep."  
"...He?" Bro said slowly, dreading what that might mean.  
"The donor." D confirmed Bro's fears with a grave nod.  
"WHAT?! How the fuckin hell did he find Momma? If he so much as touches her I'll-" Bro snarled.  
"Bro." D placed his hands on Bro's broad shoulders. Christ, the guy was built like a brick house "Calm down. We're going over there, ok?"  
"Damn fuckin straight we're goin over there. And I'm takin my katana with me." muttered Bro.

Neither guardian realised that the teenagers had overheard the conversation and started to feel just as fired up as Bro did. They exchanged the briefest glance then collected their own swords and met their brothers at the door to Dirk's room.

"What does that bastard want with Mom." asked Dirk, his katana slung over his shoulder.  
"D? Can you explain?" Dave looked at his older look alike.  
D took a deep breath before saying "...Mom told me that that motherfucker wants money because of the divorce. $5000."

Bro completely lost his shit.

"That SON OF A BITCH! That's it!" he roared. When he got angry, his voice lost the southern accent he put on and went straight back to his New York roots. And he was furious right now. He shoved past D, vaulted over the futon and grabbed a pair of katanas. 

He passed one of them to D and growled at Dave and Dirk "To the car."

As the four of them ran down the stairs to the lobby of their apartment block, adrenaline pumping and their minds ready for a fight, each of them made a vow that the others heard.

"If he touches Rose..." hissed Dave.  
"If he touches Roxy..." snarled Dirk.  
"If he touches Mom..." growled Bro.

D waited until they had all piled into the car and shut the doors to make his vow.

"If he touches any of you, I'll rip him apart myself." 

His voice was not a growl, a snarl or a hiss. It was a emotionless tone of ice cold fury.

No one hurt his family.


	4. Pistols and Canines

"Jade! Stop dallying otherwise I'm jolly well going without you!" Jake English called upstairs from the entrance hall.  
"Wait just one more second!" Jade Harley yelled back as she came running down the stairs. Her rifle was strapped across her back and she was wearing her shooting range clothes- which she referred to as her Iron Lass Suit (the colours matched those of the classic Iron Man suit).

At the bottom of the stairs, Becquerel (the household good dog, best friend) came over and nuzzled Jade's leg, looking up at her with a lolling tongue and wagging tail.

Jade knelt down and ruffled his ears, allowing him to lick her hand before she straightened back up.

"You weren't really going to go without me, were you?" she asked Jake, pouting.  
"Of course not, lass, don't be ridiculous." chuckled Jake "Are you ready to leave?"  
"Yup!" beamed Jade, before she and her brother went out to the car.

On their way to the shooting range, Jake decided to approach a rather sensitive topic with his little sister. He would be cautious about it though, and began with another topic of conversation.

"So...you all sorted for prom?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the road.  
"Mhm! I'm wearing my three in the morning dress and I'm going with Dave. He'll meet up with John when we're there." smiled Jade.  
"And...are you meeting up with anyone at prom?" Jake said casually.  
Jade didn't say anything, feeling her face grow hot. She suddenly became very interested in the zip on her rifle case.

Jake sighed almost inaudibly but didn't press the point. So Jade hadn't yet told Terezi about how she felt. Was it lack of confidence? Motivation? Whatever the reason, Jake wanted to find a way to help her. It was his duty as both a big brother, and as a gentleman.

They got to the shooting range and went to their usual practice site. The siblings loaded their first rounds of ammo into their firearms: a rifle and two pistols and that's when Jake suggested his idea.

"How about a little friendly fire competition? It's been a little while since we went head to head."  
"What are the conditions of this competition?" Jade looked at him.  
"Three rounds of bullets each, highest score overall wins."   
"Ok, what are the stakes?" asked Jade, interested.  
"The loser does whatever the winner asks of them." grinned Jake.  
"Fine, bring your best shot." challenged Jade.  
"Count on it." nodded Jake.

Jake took his aim first. The targets were large foam blocks with targets painted on them, they went from 10 to 7 to 5 to 3 and each score was represented by a different coloured band. 

Jake fired his first round of 30 bullets, alternating between his left and right pistols and coming up with a score of 261.  
"I'm laying down the proverbial gauntlet, little sister." he said confidently to Jade.  
"Let me fire my first round before you get cocky." Jade stuck her tongue out at her brother as she took her place before the targets.

Jade also fired her first 30 bullets, but only came up with a score of 143. She put it down to the adrenaline and the fact she'd never beaten Jake in one of their sibling face-offs.  
"If you like, I'll use the moving targets for the next round?" offered Jake.  
"I'm just getting warmed up, but if you want to go ahead." Jade shrugged, secretly grateful her brother was giving her the chance to catch up.

For his round 2, Jake attached a fresh set of blocks to the conveyer belts on the wall and set them to a moderate speed. It had been a little while since he'd practiced on those but now was as good a time as any.  
Turned out his was a little rusty and he only got 137, bringing his total score to 398.

On the other hand, Jade, staying with stationery targets, had a very successful second round with a score of 255, making the siblings tied.  
"Ah, so the last round is the decider. Jolly good." observed Jake.  
"All to play for. Who knows? I could actually win this." Jade realised in surprise. She'd never come this close.  
"That's the spirit, Jade! Positive thinking and all that malarkey!" encouraged Jake, causing Jade to giggle.

Jake went back to the stationary targets for the final round and was back on nearly top form with 215. Jade gave it all she had for round three and scored a pretty solid 200 points. It was going to be very close.

"Alright, my final score was...612." Jake announced once he'd finished jotting down his points.  
"Mine was...598. Aww I was so close!" complained Jade.  
"That's a new personal best for you though isn't it?" Jake reminded her.  
"Oh...yeah it is! Alright!" smiled Jade, punching the air.  
"It's also the closest you've ever come to beating me, well done I'm proud." smiled Jake.

They packed up and went back to the car, stopping for something to eat on the way home at their favourite cafe.

"So, what do you want me to do as your prize?" asked Jade, as she sipped a large vanilla milkshake.  
"Well...firstly, do you promise you'll do it?" Jake looked at her.  
"Of course! You won so I pinky swear." Jade held out her hand with her little finger extended.  
Jake linked his pinky with Jade's and didn't let go as he said "Tonight, I want you to tell Terezi how you feel about her."   
"WHAT?!" Jade's face went bright red.  
"Please Jade? I know you want to and I know it'll make you happy if you do...and that's all I want for my little sister. I want you to be happy. So please?" Jake coaxed.  
"You dork..." sighed Jade, hugging her brother tightly before mumbling into his shoulder "F-fine...I'll tell Terezi tonight."

Jake smiled and the pair of them finished their food and paid. When they got home, Jade got changed and sat down with her laptop. Ok, she was really going to do this...  
There was always the chance Terezi felt the same.

Right?


End file.
